


We only said goodbye with words

by GreyWeeknds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:27:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyWeeknds/pseuds/GreyWeeknds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody knows about Harry and Niall being an item, and it hurts the blonde more than the green-eyed could ever know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We only said goodbye with words

_Me and my head high and my tears dry..._

I scrolled down the page on my phone. Even though the guys said that I hadn't been bad tonight I knew they were only trying to be nice by lying to me. I logged into twitter and I saw some people that had written about how 'awesome and cute' I was. But I knew they were only the devoted fans, the ones that would defend me even if I would have sounded like a cat being strangled. 

I wanted to be one of those people who didn't care about what others thought about me. I wanted to be one of those who had the power to think that I didn't need to know what they had to say about me, that the next time was going to be better. But even though I told myself that I was a big brave boy, I found myself searching for 'Harry's shit'. At first I was to shocked to actually react at those horrible things they said, but just a couple of minutes later I started to cry. I felt my heart was beating ten times faster than its normal speed and all air from my lungs were punched out. I could barely breath, in my head I heard people screaming the nasty words to me. When I closed my eyes I saw Liam looking hurt, like someone had kicked a little puppy.  _'How could you?'._ The brown hair transformed into Zayn, he didn't look hurt like Liam did. No, he watched me with a disgusting sneer across his face. He didn't have to say any words, I knew what he was thinking, that pathetic loser should just quit the band. The tears from my eyes felt like thousands of burning suns against my skin, it literally felt like hell. 

_You went back to what you knew so far removed..._

I could hear the cars from the city outside my apartment. Families, lovers, friends... happy people. I wanted to be that, be one of them. I looked down at my forearm,  _things I can't._ The tattoo had never felt more real than it did right now. I remembered Louis concerned glaces he shot to me a couple of times after the show. He had hugged me and said that it was okay, that I had just forgotten to breath. But I knew that he was lying, he was ashamed by standing beside me at the stage. I remembered the fans went all silent and the whole world stopped for a moment. Everybody observed me, looking at me like I was some kind of alien. 

Niall, he was the only one of them I believed. He had told me that it was okay, that everybody made mistakes sometimes. But I was Harry Styles, the perfect curly head with the dimples as media described me. I wasn't allowed to make any mistakes, I was the one that everybody should rely to. I was the stone, the rock, the mountain, now I was crumbled to sand. Like a beautiful mirror that someone had smashed into millions of pieces.  

_And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside..._

I threw the phone into the brick wall. 

"Fuck!" I screamed.

I was really glad that Louis wasn't home tonight, that he was spending it with his girlfriend. He would have broken down if he had seen how bad I felt. Times and times again he asked me if I wanted him to stay home, just for tonight. If I needed the support, but I had smiled at him and lied, that I really was okay. I knew he didn't believe me, but he followed El to their date. I was happy for them, they needed each other. 

I picked up the phone from the floor. The screen was damaged, but otherwise it looked okay. I dialed the number to the person that _I needed._ The one person that I could always be myself around, the only person who I wasn't this fake plastic doll that everybody could play with.

"H-hello?" the thick Irish accent surrounded my ear.

I broke down at the phone and started to cry hysterically. I could hear him sigh at the other end of the thread.

"Harry... I knew you were lying before. I saw what they had written, I've never felt more disgusted by other humans than I do right now!" 

I smiled to myself. He always knew what to say, how to comfort me when I was down. 

"Niall, I need you know... is it okay if I come over?" I whispered.

"Yeah of course Hazza, there is always a bed and a shoulder for you waiting here. See you soon, love you Harry more than there's stars in the sky." 

I smiled to myself, my heart pounding even faster than before. But this time it was for a whole other reason. 

"Yeah, see you soon Nialler. Love you too."

_I love you so much, it's not enough..._

His fingers were slowly drawing small circles on my back. I snuggled my head in his chest while he whispered sweet nothings in my ear. His white t-shirt were drown from all the tears that fell from my flushed cheeks and I cried harder than I've ever done before. The worst part of all was that I knew that I had to say goodbye soon, I wasn't allowed to stay in his apartment to along. I hated the world for a minute, cursing it for not allowing me being with the one I loved the most.

"You know, you could stay the night. You don't have to follow everything the management says." he breathed in my ear.

His breath tickled my skin and I chuckled lightly. 

"I can't."

I knew that he was disappointed, but I couldn't do it. I always felt the need to satisfy others, I couldn't break the rules. This fake plastic doll was the facade that I clung so hard by. If I wasn't this perfect boy, who was I then?

"I know. But can't you just lie to me for a couple of hours and make me believe that you'll stay. It's not making you a liar if I'm the one who beg you to do it." he pleaded.

"Okay, then I'll stay." 

"You're gonna do it? You're really staying with me?" he smiled hopefully.

"Yeah, I promise." I lied.

He took my hand and our fingers entwined. A moment later I heard heavy breaths and I saw his blue beautiful eyes were closed.  _'I'm sorry'_ I thought before I silently walked up from bed. I watched him for a while, he had never looked any more gorgeous than he did in this moment. He looked like this safe and happy child and I felt like an ass for leaving him, but I knew that he would eventually forgive me. He always did. 

_We only said goodbye with words, I died a hundred times..._


End file.
